


The Firefly Who Loved A Star

by PiningTsukkiEnthusiast



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Graduation, I teared up reading this back so, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Minor Self-Deprecation, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other, Pining Tsukishima Kei, That should be a good sign
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27530851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiningTsukkiEnthusiast/pseuds/PiningTsukkiEnthusiast
Summary: Kei realized they were in love with Yamaguchi in January of their third year. Like an idiot. Just months before graduation. And then they had to process that information for another couple of months. And then suddenly, it’s spring, and it’s the night before graduation, and Kei’s about to lose theirchance.Or, Tsukishima tries to confess to Yamaguchi before they graduate.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 11
Kudos: 104





	The Firefly Who Loved A Star

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, thank you so much to my wonderful partner for beta reading this for me! (Check them out [here](https://www.archiveofourown.org/users/bitheby) for some of their own great TsukkiYama and other fics!) And secondly, I just. Scream. Because I love this short little fic so very much and I hope you enjoy it too?? Yeah. Okay, it's TsukkiYama time!

It’s all come down to this.

Kei realized they were in love with Yamaguchi in January of their third year. Like an idiot. Just months before graduation. And then they had to _process_ that information for another couple of months. And then suddenly, it’s spring, and it’s the night before graduation, and Kei’s about to lose their _chance_.

Well, not really. Technically, nothing’s pulling them and Yamaguchi away from each other. They’re going to university together, _living_ together, but. Still. Kei knows themself. They won’t tell Yamaguchi once it gets to that point. They’ll just let themself pine forever, while Yamaguchi goes and finds someone actually _pleasant_ to be around, and Kei is stuck the best friend.

Not that they mind being Yamaguchi’s best friend. Once, late at night, after sneaking one of Akiteru’s beers, Kei tipsily admitted to Yamaguchi it was their “most favorite job in the world.” And then passed the fuck out. Because you know, apparently that’s the only way they can express a feeling.

They already know that they won’t be able to tell Yamaguchi, out loud, to his face, that they’re in love with him – that they have been for years but didn’t realize it until a few months ago. Not that they don’t want to, but they have an awful track record with expressing feelings out loud. So, in comes _Plan B_ – which is looking more and more like _Plan A_ every minute.

A confession letter.

Except, as it turns out, Kei’s no better at expressing their feelings on paper than they are at doing it aloud. And they’ve been trying for five hours, it’s late at night, and they’ll probably pass out before they get their diploma at this rate. It’s just been a lot of staring at a blank sheet, listening to the same songs on repeat.

“Shit.” They throw their pencil at the wall. This isn’t going anywhere.

The pencil hits a shelf, which bumps a dinosaur, which falls, and hits their volleyball, which crashes onto the trash bin. It’s a lot louder than something should be at near midnight. They cringe. Funny how a small action can create an effect like that of an earthquake.

Sure enough, their bedroom door opens, and there stands Akiteru, looking groggy and confused, but also concerned. Kei moves one side of the headphones off their ear.

“Kei, why are you still awake?” he asks, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “You’ve got graduation tomorrow, and we’re meeting with the Yamaguchis early–”

At _Yamaguchi_ , Kei groans unintentionally.

Akiteru frowns. “What’s the matter?”

Kei sighs and pulls the headphones down around their neck. “I’m overthinking,” they say plainly.

“About Tadashi?”

Kei sighs again because, ah, right, Akiteru isn’t an idiot and he’s pretty good at reading people. Especially Kei, although if Yachi is to be believed, they’re not that difficult to be read in the first place.

This is the point Akiteru notices the pencil and paper on Kei’s desk, still mostly untouched. His mouth forms a silent _oh_ , and his eyes widen.

“Kei…is that for a con–?”

“Shut up,” Kei says on reflex. This is just the last thing they need.

Akiteru smiles, compassionate and understanding. Gross. “Stop overthinking it, kid,” he laughs, ruffling their hair. “Write what you’re thinking and feeling. It doesn’t matter how much sense it makes, because you and Tadashi have your own language.”

“Shouldn’t you be reacting or something to the fact that I’m gay,” Kei deadpans.

“Come on, Kei.” Akiteru shakes his head. “Even if you weren’t, I think we all knew Tadashi was the only one for you.”

It’s true, but he shouldn’t say it.

In any case, Kei can’t argue, because Akiteru is right. “I’m nonbinary,” they say instead, because hey, if they’re coming out, might as well get it all out there.

“That’s cool,” Akiteru replies. “So is my boyfriend.”

And like some spotlight stealing fucker, he leaves it at that and _leaves the room_. Fucker.

But Kei can strangle him later. For now, they finally have an idea of what to write. So, they turn their music back on, and they write. And write, and write, and write, and they’re filling pages until they pass out at their desk.

When they wake up, they throw the whole letter in the bin.

͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

Tadashi’s job today is hard. He has to pass on the torch to next year’s captain, has to hold back the tears and smile so the others know it’s alright. He’s glad to have Tsukki standing next to him. He needs to borrow some of their strength.

Of course, this isn’t for hours. Right now, their families are taking pictures of them pretty much everywhere they ever went growing up together. It’s a little bit embarrassing, but Tadashi gets to see Tsukki blush which is so cute that it’s worth it.

“Ka-san, you’ve taken like a hundred pictures,” Tsukki complains. “I think we have enough to remember this day forever, alright?”

Tsukishima-san clicks her tongue at him. “Fine, fine. Then, I’m going to just go compare pictures with Tadashi’s parents.”

Tadashi giggles at Tsukki’s annoyance. “You barely even smiled for the pictures, Tsukki! Come on, this is a happy day!” He pokes their cheeks. “The first day of the rest of our life! Next week, we’re moving to Sendai, and it’s going to be super awesome!”

Tsukki just puffs out their cheeks at him, so Tadashi squishes their face and pulls it into a smile. Tsukki scrunches up their nose, and it results in probably the ugliest face they’ve ever made. Tadashi giggles at them, continuing to squish their cheeks. Yeah, it’s a bittersweet day, but at least they’re in this together.

(Neither of them sees the extra photos that Akiteru snaps.)

Eventually, Tsukki laughs too, and pulls Tadashi’s hands off their face. “Alright, I’m smiling, see?” they say, still holding his wrists.

“Yes, I see,” Tadashi says happily. “Now, let’s keep that smile alive! Good vibes! No more high school! We’re free, Tsukki!”

“We still have to get our diplomas,” Tsukki counters.

“Well, now you’re just being difficult,” Tadashi says with a pout.

“Hey, let’s keep that smile alive, good vibes,” Tsukki mimics, pinching Tadashi’s cheeks this time.

Tadashi shoves them lightly. “You’re such a jerk, Tsukki, how are we still friends?”

“You called me cool once and I haven’t left you alone since,” Tsukki deadpans.

At first, Tadashi laughs, but then… “Wait, what?”

“That’s what happened, isn’t it? We happened to meet a second time, you said I was cool, and I…sort of attached myself to your side like a lost puppy?”

Tadashi blinks at them. “I thought I was the one who followed _you_ around like a lost puppy…”

“I guess we were following each other, then,” Tsukki says, glancing away with pink cheeks. “Shouldn’t we be heading to the school by now?”

“Ah, yes,” Akiteru agrees, grabbing their parents’ attention. “We should get going.”

Tadashi and Tsukki walk behind their families, a little slower. It’s quiet, but comfortable. The air between them is filled with three years of nostalgia– they walked this path to school together every day of high school. This is maybe the one thing Tadashi is more excited about than sad, knowing that even though the path will be different, he’ll still be walking it with Tsukki.

He’s glad to be by their side.

“What?” Tsukki mumbles, glancing at him out of the corner of their eye. Their cheeks are dusted pink again.

“Nothing,” Tadashi says, waving them off. “I’m just happy that we’re friends, is all.”

“Sap,” Tsukki teases, tearing their gaze away.

“Yeah,” Tadashi agrees, looping his arm through theirs. “Maybe a little.”

Tsukki’s blush worsens, but Tadashi doesn’t think much of it. They’ve always been easy to embarrass, after all. Never so much as the past few months, actually. Tadashi is here for it.

Akiteru smiles back at Tadashi, like he knows something Tadashi doesn’t, and it’s a little chilling. Tsukki and Akiteru make very similar faces sometimes, and their knowing looks are practically identical. So, Tadashi feels a reasonable amount of dread.

They reach the school, and Tsukki pulls away.

“I’ll be right back, bathroom,” they say simply.

“Oh– alright,” Tadashi says, staying where he is to wait.

͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

Kei’s an idiot. They know. Not just because they drank three cups of coffee this morning, so now they’re jittery and _really_ need to pee (although it’s certainly up there in supporting evidence). But no, the main case, exhibit-freaking-A, is that they thought they could get through today without thinking about what they threw away. Not just literally, with the letter, but what the letter _meant_.

They’re giving up, okay?

Whatever. So, Kei’s lame and a coward, and they know. But it’s not like Yamaguchi is going anywhere. He likes them well enough to be their friend, _best_ friend, and that’s all they really should ask for. They’re not nice, they’re awful with words unless it’s to hurt someone. They’re analytical and judgmental. They’re everything no one would want in a partner.

So, it’s fine.

They wash their hands and splash cool water on their face to shake away the thoughts plaguing their mind. They’ll get through today, just like they got through every day since they realized their own stupid feelings.

_Pathetic._

͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

“Tadashi,” Akiteru starts when Tsukki’s gone to the bathroom.

Tadashi looks at him curiously. “What’s up, Akiteru-kun?”

Akiteru looks a little nervous, which is weird, because he never looks nervous. But he keeps glancing in the direction Tsukki left in, like he’s afraid they’ll come back. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper.

“Look, I shouldn’t be giving you this,” he starts, “but Kei threw it away, and I saw, and…you deserve to know. Deserve to see it.”

Tadashi blinks. “What? Is it like, a speech for the club or something?” He has no clue what would be so important that Akiteru would fish it out of the bin.

“Just read it, Tadashi. Trust me.” Akiteru places it in his hands. “Preferably before Kei gets back and kicks my ass.”

“Okay…” Tadashi un-crinkles the paper and reads… _Wait._

> _I am a firefly that fell in love with a star. That sounds so cheesy and gross and stupid but it’s true; my light is fleeting, but yours is constant. You are always there, shining, and I can always see you, but you’re far away, untouchable, to me. Because where you are kind, I’m mean; where you are patient, I’m rude; where you are good, I’m not._
> 
> _But I fell in love with you anyways. Like a firefly drawn to his Evangeline – do you remember when we watched that movie in January? And you were making fun of me because the kanji for my name means firefly, and he was a cute but ugly old little firefly. And he talked about how he was in love with Evangeline, the star._
> 
> _I looked at you and I knew. I was no different. I fell in love with an unreachable star. Someone who deserves better, someone I’m selfish to want, someone who I want to spend the rest of my days with and yet._
> 
> _I don’t deserve such a luxury._
> 
> _Honestly, I wanted to tell you forever ago. But I kept overthinking and analyzing and processing and suddenly it’s the day before graduation. And Tadashi, nii-san says to write what I know and what I feel, but I don’t even know what that is anymore. I just know that I want you to know, but I can’t bear to lose you._
> 
> _I can’t bear to hear you confirm that you’ll never_

It cuts off like that, mid-sentence. But Tadashi doesn’t need to read the rest of the sentence; he knows, he _knows_.

͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

Kei does not want to have their fears confirmed when they see Yamaguchi reading and crying over a crinkled-up piece of paper. But they know. They can see it in the way he looks up at them, eyes wide and surprised and disbelieving.

“Tsukki…” It’s shaky and watery and unsure.

Kei is rooted in place. They want to run away, but they also want to run _towards_ , hold Yamaguchi close and kiss away his tears – something gross and sappy like that. But they’re frozen. They can’t even breathe, can’t hear or see anyone but _Yamaguchi, Yamaguchi, Yamaguchi_.

Is this how girls felt confessing to Kei? If so, they suddenly feel incredibly guilty for brushing them off with such indifference and nonchalance. Maybe, if there’s time, they’ll apologize to the ones they can remember. But this is the single most terrifying experience they’ve ever faced. Looking into Yamaguchi’s eyes and for the first time, they don’t know what he’s thinking.

“Tsukki,” he says again, wobbly and confused and barely above a whisper.

Kei can’t speak, can’t think; there’s nothing they can do to control the outcome of this situation, and they hate that. Being out of control. Knowing that the ball is completely in Yamaguchi’s hands. But it’s Yamaguchi. And Kei knows enough to know, to trust, that Yamaguchi won’t serve a ball into their head.

Not on accident, and never on purpose, either.

So, maybe they can’t speak or think or breathe or hear or see or move. But they can trust Yamaguchi for a moment.

͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

Tadashi furiously wipes away the tears. It’s just a lot of emotion at this moment, and he wasn’t– he never expected this. It’s not like he’s surprised. He knows Tsukki better than most people, and he always knew that there was _something_ between the two of them. But he thought they needed time, that they weren’t ready or hadn’t figured it out.

Never, _ever_ , in Tadashi’s wildest dreams, did he think that Tsukishima felt they didn’t deserve him.

He walks towards Tsukki with a newfound confidence. It breaks his heart to see them so paralyzed, to know that they threw this letter away, that Tadashi isn’t supposed to know. Tadashi reaches out to them.

“Tsukki.” He takes their hands, loosely so that they can pull away if they need. (They don’t.) “ _Tsukki_.”

Tsukki lets out a shaky breath, finally, and some of the tension melts out of them. “Yamaguchi.”

Tadashi takes a step closer. “For me, it has always, always been you. You’re sarcastic and blunt, but you’re compassionate and kind. Don’t you _dare_ say I’m too good for you. We stand on the same ground, side by side.”

They look ready to protest, so Tadashi won’t let them.

“I mean that, Kei,” he says seriously. “I love you. And I thought maybe you knew that, but since you didn’t, I have no problem saying it out loud: _I love you_. I love you, I love you, I’ve always loved you, I’ll always love you; _Tsukki_. I’m moving in with you in Sendai. I always have, and always will, be beside you, for as long as you want me to.”

͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

“You sound like you’re proposing,” Kei laughs, because if they don’t laugh they’ll cry, and they don’t like to cry.

“I’m just asking to be your boyfriend,” Yamaguchi replies cheekily, smiling so wide his eyes disappear and his nose scrunches up and it’s, so cute. Yamaguchi is _so cute_.

“You’re doing a bad job at it, then,” Kei teases, more and more relaxed at every reassurance that _Yamaguchi feels it too_. “I want to be confessed to properly.”

Yamaguchi drops their hands and squawks. “That was a proper confession!”

“No, you didn’t ask anything of me,” Kei says, like the brat they are. “And here _I_ went through the trouble of writing you a _letter_.”

“Which you _threw away_ , Akiteru-kun already told me!”

Kei just crosses their arms and smirks at him as best they can (they are still shaking a bit and extremely emotional over all of this).

Yamaguchi clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes before stepping back and bowing sharply.

“W-wait, Yamaguchi, what are you–?”

“Tsukishima Kei, I’ve been in love with you before I even knew what it meant to be in love; will you please allow me to be your boyfriend?” Yamaguchi looks up through his eyelashes with a smug look.

It’s super effective. Kei has never blushed this hard in their entire life.

“Shut up, Yamaguchi, you’re so embarrassing,” they mumble, pulling him up.

Yamaguchi giggles and hugs them tight. “Is that a yes, Tsukki?”

Kei hugs back, burying their face in the crook of Yamaguchi’s neck. “Yeah. It’s a yes, Yamaguchi.”

“ _Gayyyy_ ,” Yamaguchi teases, squeezing them harder.

“No, I said no homo in my head,” Kei laughs. “Also, you’re going to kill me.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Yamaguchi pulls back a little to rest his forehead against Kei’s. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Kei mumbles, ears hot with embarrassment. “So much.”

“I’m gonna kiss you.”

“Go for it.” Kei’s voice cracks a little. Sometimes, that’s just the way it be.

Yamaguchi starts to lean in, before–

“Kei, Tadashi!” Kei’s mother calls. “Oh! Good for you, good for you! But the ceremony’s starting.”

Kei groans and hides their face in embarrassment with their hands, and Yamaguchi yelps at being caught about to kiss her son.

“Sorry, auntie, we’re– we’re coming,” he mumbles, rushing past.

Kei just whines and follows after her. “Ka-san,” they complain.

“What? What’d I do?”

But they can’t be upset, not really. Because…Yamaguchi loves them too, in the same way, and…

That’s pretty amazing.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/lovingyachi) and scream with me about Haikyuu!! and other shit!
> 
> Oh, and while you're here, if you like Tsukki ships (and I have a sneaking suspicion that you do), check out the Tsukishima Kei Rare Pair Week on [Twitter](https://www.twitter.com/tsukkishipweek) or [Tumblr](https://www.tsukkishipweek.tumblr.com)! Currently, we're in the planning stages, so if you vote on the pinned Tweet on our Twitter page, you can help decide when the fan week will be held! But hey, if you're just here to read a TsukkiYama, that's chill too! No pressure uwu I hope you enjoyed the fic!


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